May 16, 2012 § Leave a comment
We are about to enter year 2 of parenting, as our little boy is very close to his second birthday. You know that saying ‘the terrible two’s?’ Well, I don’t like to go along with mainstream for pretty much anything, and I guess I assumed that this little phrase surely didn’t label every child. I did feel that way.
Our sweet, mild natured little boy threw a tantrum. A genuine, have it out, tantrum for a good 15 minutes. I was home alone with him, and did all I knew to do to discipline, correct, love, be firm, etc. But in the end I ended up being confused at this behavior, a little hurt that I couldn’t ‘control’ it or help him, and utterly at a loss.
Much later after I had some time to think things through, pray and seek out the Lord for this, I was gently reminded of several things.
How often in my life do I fight and cry to do things my own way? Does God see me, like I see our own son?
I truly believe this.
I may not be 2 years old, but I know the attitude of my heart can often reflect that of a child. My way- I so often want things my way and that’s that.
What a selfish being I am.
I am so grateful for God’s mercy, His grace, His cleansing, renewing forgiveness that is needed and given daily. Mostly I am thankful for His kind love.
It’s not easy to look at my son misbehaving, it truly hurts my heart.
God reminded me of this after it all happened, and even though it’s tough to know what to do, I am thankful for what I learned of Him, by watching my own son. It’s amazing to me how we can see such a parallel relationship in parenting our own children, and in walking with God.
I am desperately seeking God for wisdom, for both Jonah and I as we come to these moments of “what do we do now?”. And parenting seems to bring that question up often!
I know we can pray, we can remain faithfully close to God.
I fail in this area too often, and yesterday was reminded how much I need God. I need Him like my next breath, and truly He allows everything in my life for His reasons.
So I am thankful for this learning moment for both Oliver and I. Will it happen again?
I’m guessing yes.
My heart has been renewed though. Throughout this it’s been opened up to my need for Him to fill me up, so that I can be ready when this does happen. I desire above all else for Oliver to see that we love him, but more so that God loves him more than anyone in this life ever will.
I am encouraged by Psalm 142:3a- David was running from Saul, hiding from him rather for his own safety, and he wrote this Psalm.
“When my spirit was overwhelmed within me then thou knewest my path…”
He knows how we can love, discipline and lead this little child. And to that I am clinging!