Share your story

January 20, 2011 § Leave a comment

Wednesday morning I was reading in Psalm 25 and several verses stood out to me, calling my name.

Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. (4)

{Oh, how my heart cries this out to God!}

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness’ sake, O Lord. (7)

For thy name’s sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great. (11)

{And I have failed miserably in my youth}

The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant. (14)

Let my integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. (21)

As I read through I realized how much those verses reflect my own heart. I have done some dumb things in my life. I’ve done many things to be ashamed of.  Things I regret and wish I didn’t do. But through it all, I know Jesus has forgiven me. While this doesn’t make it easier for me to mentally erase it all, I know He has forgiven and forgotten. He is not dwelling on each mistake and holding them against me, plotting for my next failure. He’s not saying, “Well, here we go again with that girl, I remember all those times she screwed up, this time sure won’t be any different.”

I think my human, carnal, shallow mind wants to think that sometimes. But reading through the Scripture makes me realize many before me have felt the same way. They were so aware of their failings, but faithfully laid them before God, knowing He would forgive.

Tuesday night was a special night. It was the first time I met with  some ladies for a small group. These ladies are special to me because we all met in our birthing class months ago. We met with babies in our bellies, and now we all have our babies here with us. There is something special about sharing a birthing class with others. It’s a very eye-opening experience to say the least.

I had the idea a few months ago to possibly start a Bible study of sorts with them. I mentioned it to one friend from class, and she was on board. But I let it go, not ready to start it just yet, not feeling the timing was right.

Then this year happened.

I suddenly knew now was the time. It just was. The phrase comes to mind, “the time was ripe”.  Much like a fruit is ready for harvesting, ripe and sweet. The time for us to meet was now, orchestrated by God.

And we met Tuesday night.

It was sweet. We shared together, testifying of how God brought each of us to the point we are at right now.

I shared my testimony. I was nervous and it was long. I typed it all out in 8 point type on an 8.5″ x 11″ sheet of paper. And it filled the page. I prayed and prayed for the moment I would read. I prayed for the night itself. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to move and be among us. I prayed for it to be Jesus, and for none of it to be about me.

I got through sharing my testimony, then in turn each lady shared her own. It was amazing to know that others shared similar experiences, bad and good. I guess that always amazes me. You just don’t know what someone else has gone through, until they start to speak and share from their own heart. The cliché phrase, “You can’t judge a book by its cover”, is so relevant.  It speaks volumes…okay I thought that was funny, and yes, pun intended.

All in all, it was a great night, and I’m so excited to see what God will teach us—through His word, through a study, through each life story we share.

The verses I read in Psalms echo many past thoughts in my own heart. Now I can say I stand without the guilt and shame, because I know He has forgiven me. Fresh, clean, white forgiveness.

I know I will continue to fail though. I’m not faultless, or anywhere near perfect. But I’m reminded of how God remembers His children. He remembers and receives us, what an awesome, loving gracious God I serve!

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